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How Did I?

by Zoeken

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1.
I wish someone would put me down So this would be easier Cause from what I've found I'll never be free from it A loss of control A life I don't own I'll never own I wish I could lay it down But things are never that way An ignorant crowd To watch me wreck my name This place reeks of shame I wish I had someone to blame I'll never change
2.
Move 02:00
It's not a bout the present, baby But for a better future maybe Don't wander out to far in the ocean There's better ways to stay in motion And I hope the world for you And I can't change what's done or what I'm ever going to do Don't let the world tell you who you are Cause happiness and emptiness are never that far apart I never meant to make you feel so low.
3.
Running back as if I'm scared to make it, I can see the finish but would I be faking, If I said it's what I wanted at all, Sometimes winning doesn't seem much better than, Turning off from all the things awaiting, I can see light growing but I beg for fading, Am I ever gonna want it at all? Sometimes failure seems a whole lot better than.. Facing, fuck ups and hang ups that I seem to make up and Lately, I've only wanted to cover the conscious with anything and everything.
4.
How can you know, What's right and what's wrong? And still make them hurt, while you question it all? How do you fight, when you may not be right, and your head's gonna burst, cause the love don't suffice? It's right there in front, All that wisdom you hunt, But you wish you could just start again, like the seasons and the months So you toss your dog a bone and you watch a flick at home and you hope some day that you won't feel so smothered yet so god damn alone.
5.
She can't make me smile No she don't make me laugh She don't recognize the faults of mine that I will one day pass She can't handle me Or my curiosity While I'm up all night and soaring high She's scared.... Unlike the girl with the blonde hair Got caught up in her stare It was the fucking fantasy I never thought I'd live to see But the universe don't care Got caught up in her stare She always makes me laugh She always makes me smile Two fucking fucking days of love Her kiss, her lips, her thoughts, those hips..... ...and the way she moves her body like she's going after tips could really send me overboard and now I'm starting to lose my grip She is my girl with the blonde hair Getting caught up in each others stares It's now the fantasy I'm living not a soul could understand I'm in love with my best friend
6.
Dream 04:38
Don't you cry If you still feel Ill tomorrow If they haven't fixed you up yet If you don't remember me none If we aren't just right... Cause I won't go home. Don't you fret I know it's so confusing I know it is for me now I wonder what you're dreaming of I don't know But I wont go. And I thought we we're alive And I thought we we're awake And I lead you to this hole And that was my mistake Dream while you lay. Sleep tight.
7.
Lying still for now, In the wreckage left from some heaven sent Judgement from the clouds. Amy I really supposed to be thanking you for Saving me somehow? From my own demise reigning from the skies Like you're some stand up fucking guy. I've gotta say this has got me thinking otherwise...... Chorus: Thanks for all the blessings, Really thanks for my best friend. But fuck you for letting me lose all those times that I Really needed a win. Thanks for all my problems, and being fucked up in the head. But in truth I'd be lying if I said I thought there was Life to follow death So you turned my life around Endured heartache and pain gaining scars I can thank Only you for sending down Test me once more let me suffer for your Entertaining use of power Give the angels a laugh from your comedic wrath Was I ever supposed to ask? If hardship and misery were part of my predestined path. Chorus
8.
How Did I? 02:13
Could you float with your toes touched to the ground? Does it count if your song never makes a sound? Could you paint that picture that you saw in the clouds? Maybe if you just shut out the doubt, and give it a try. Do we have to call love nothing more than a sin? Why do we find ourselves wondering, How did I?
9.
Running back as if I'm scared to make it, I can see the finish but would I be faking, If I said it's what I wanted at all, Sometimes winning doesn't seem much better than, Turning off from all the things awaiting, I can see light growing but I beg for fading, Am I ever gonna want it at all? Sometimes failure seems a whole lot better than.. Facing, fuck ups and hang ups that I seem to make up and Lately, I've only wanted to cover the conscious with anything and everything.

credits

released August 24, 2015

Thank you to George Pepper, Ryan Muller, Zach Canter, and Hector Bahamonde. Thank all of you for your support and enthusiasm and your musical contributions whether big or small. Thank you Ryan Muller for the album art, and thank you Lindsey Leyko for putting up with me, and your contributions as well, as I dove headfirst into making sure I finished this project. I couldn't have done it without your support. Thank you.

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Zoeken Longview, Texas

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